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"The most original artist project in Britain today"

 KultureFlash

"Could have been the brainchild of Andy Warhol"

Time Out London

welcome 

We are an award winning, critically acclaimed art collective who make commissionable solutions for private clients, museums and galleries. If you have a fear of missing out or worry that you're not interesting enough, then we will create the perfect solution for your needs.

 

Select your favourite solution from our range below and get in touch with us to book your consultation. Once complete all evidence from your commission will be displayed in a site specific location or presented to you as an NFT.

our solutions

01 happynolucky

In happynolucky we'll create a happier past for you.

 

You can commission us to design evidence of a lovely childhood, great relationships, good health and a successful career. Soon you'll be able to highlight your positivity to potential employers, partners and friends who will find you a joy to be around.

All evidence will be presented as an NFT and selected documents will be elegantly framed and mounted for your pleasure.

02 traumaformer

In traumaformer we'll create a more upsetting past for you.

 

We can produce fictional evidence of untimely deaths, awful relationships, former addictions and failed careers. Soon you'll be able to highlight your strength in the face of adversity to potential employers, partners and friends with this tragic solution.

Selected evidence will be presented in an elegantly designed archive box and all documentation will be minted as an NFT.

03 miraclemaker

In miraclemaker we'll give you evidence of a life-changing spiritual experience.

 

From weeping statues to floating apparitions you'll be forced to reconsider a rational mentality. Rendered proof of your awakening will be distributed through a series of lectures at scientific institutions and then framed and mounted for your pleasure. 

 

All evidence will be presented to you as an NFT.

04 comewithme

In comewithme we'll be your absent lover

 

We will provide a series of communications that prove you have a loving partner who can’t be with you. You can choose from a variety of absent scenarios including soldier, artist, rig worker or prisoner.

 

We suggest a contemporary archive box as the perfect storage solution for all your intimate documents. All rendered proof will be minted as an NFT for safe keeping.

05 vergingactive

In vergingactive we exercise on your behalf.

 

You can choose from a variety of options including competitive/non-competitive and intense/gentle. Evidence of (y)our activity will be presented to you as an NFT leaving you safe in the knowledge that you're investing in your health, despite a busy schedule.

06 knowthing

In knowthing we'll do nothing on your behalf.

 

The experience will be fully assimilated through the ownership of the resulting documentation leaving you safe in the knowledge that your 'me' time is no longer being compromised. 

 

All evidence will be displayed in your home and presented as an NFT.

07 legasee

In legasee we give you a fictional child.

 

We'll create evidence that you're a parent, providing a short cut to fulfillment without compromise to your social/work life. You can select a range of part time options that cater for a variety of child solutions and all evidence of your selfless devotion will be presented as an NFT.

Selected documents will be framed and mounted for display around your home and office.

08 chaseme

In chaseme we're famous on your behalf.

 

We will assume your identity and be followed incessantly by a team of photographers and cameramen around a city of your choice. Evidence of the activity will be hidden from you and then released publicly when you least expect it.

The resulting fallout will be presented to you as a series of elegant prints and minted as an NFT.

 

09 gapfear

In gapfear we travel the world on your behalf.

 

You can choose from a variety of travel options including gap year, sabbatical, tourist, missionary or business traveller. Documents relating to your offset experiences will be minted as an NFT and presented in a variety of really old fashioned formats, making them much easier to believe in.

10 vocationalvacation

In vocationalvacation we work for free on something you really love. 

 

Whether it be in the cultural sector, politics or the media you'll be safe in the knowledge that your ambitions are being met by us, on your behalf.

 

Evidence of your delegated voluntary activities will be available as an NFT and etched in gold leaf across some handmade paper for your everlasting pleasure. 

11 conspirasee

In conspirasee all is not what it seems.

 

We will create a name, image and ceremonial figurehead for a powerful imaginary society/organisation who are secretly controlling your every move. The evidence will be revealed over a few years until you believe that complex personal/political issues can be blamed on the reductive actions of this group of manipulative (and possibly related) individuals.

12 classempty

In classempty we give you a different class identity.

 

We'll render a variety of documents that suggest an alternate past that takes in the sights, sounds and smells of working, middle or upper class sensibilities. By owning the resulting NFT you'll slowly begin to believe that this past is your own, helping you to create some new and exciting opportunities.

13 dienamight

In dienamight we rehearse your death.

 

This solution is an ideal way to assess your contribution to date without the tiresome consequences associated with actual death. All documentation from this unique solution can presented as an NFT, hung in your home or presented to your closest friend for safekeeping.

14 polterheist

In polterheist we're a presence in your home.

 

We'll create a number of frightening scenarios that suggest a haunting or visitation from the afterlife in your home. Evidence will be presented in a variety of highly convincing formats and then minted as an NFT

15 knowidea

In knowidea we give you a great idea.

 

We'll create proof that you were responsible for a great idea of your choice, helping you believe that you've modestly produced a cultural phenomenon. Evidence of your ideal brainwave will be framed for your pleasure and hung in the offices of a law firm and then minted as an NFT. 

16 guiltry

In guiltry we'll feel bad on your behalf.

 

No matter how much you think you're disconnected to a particular issue, we'll create evidence to prove that you're in fact responsible for the misfortunes or misdeeds of others you've never met. We'll then feel ashamed on your behalf and adjust our lifestyle accordingly.

 

Documentation of your delegated guilt will be presented as an NFT and printed in UV ink on your bedroom wall. 

17 fauxbia

In fauxbia we'll realise your worst fears. 

 

You can commission us to experience a number of future 'worst case scenarios' on your behalf. During each act we'll pretend to be you and selected evidence of each offset misfortune will be distributed across a variety of social networks and presented as an NFT. 

 

This solution is an ideal accompaniment to traumaformer and we're currently offering a 2 for 1 package deal on both services. 

18 anomelastic

In anomelastic we'll contact you if you die. 

 

We'll use all contemporary and traditional forms of communication and we won't stop until we get a satisfactory reply. Whether for work or personal reasons anomelastic is a perfect way to maintain relationships in the most difficult circumstances. All communications will be archived in an attractive manner and presented to your friends and family in a wooden box.

19 insumnia

In insumnia we'll sleep on your behalf.

 

Just before we fall asleep we'll pretend to be you. Evidence will be presented as an NFT.

20 me at work now

In me at work now you can claim any experience as a valid form of work.

 

Examples could include: sleeping, marching, holidaying, singing, partying and crying. Evidence will be presented as an NFT or recorded on a series of gorgeous, handmade tapestries.